The gala Sydney premiere of the new anti vaccination “documentary” Vaxxed had to be cancelled last night due to an outbreak of whooping cough. “With all the loud coughing going on in the cinema it would have been impossible for… Read More ›
Science
World Records Highest February Levels Of People Saying “How About This Heat”
The world is facing a climate emergency after figures released by security listening agency Echelon revealed that in February people used the phrase “How about this heat” a record 1.5% times above the average. “Our scanning of intercepted phone conversations,… Read More ›
Richard Dawkins’ Stroke Proves The Existence Of God
Richard Dawkins, famed biologist and infamous atheism advocate, has accidentally proven the existence of God after suffering a stroke on the eve of his tour of Australia and New Zealand. While it is unclear which monotheistic religions is correct, or… Read More ›
Turnbull Unveils Plan To Privatize CSIRO
The Turnbull government has responded to the backlash over cuts to the CSIRO by announcing a new plan to restore the funding through private investment. The Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull told the ABC on Tuesday that he had listened to… Read More ›
Climate Scientists Resolve To Just Get Really Drunk From Now On
The world’s climate scientists have responded to the release of a major new report by collectively resolving to spend the rest of their time, before global warming-induced eco-holocaust renders human civilisation unsustainable, getting really, really drunk. “We’ve just gotten sick… Read More ›
NASA On Verge Of Discovering Where The Moon Goes In The Daytime
US space agency NASA is confident that within the next ten years they will have solved the problem of what happens to the Moon during the day. “It’s one of the enduring mysteries of the universe and pretty soon we’ll… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 