The (un)Australian

Recent Posts - page 382

• Telstra Outage Forces Millennial To Face Two Hours Of Hideous Reality

  By theunozblog on 15/04/2016 • ( 0 )

  

  “I had no idea who I was supposed to be hysterically hating and completely lost touch with the antics of the world’s kittens,” said Ramsgate dental receptionist Emily Retweet. “Worst of all for part of the time I was at… Read More ›

• Paul Keating Leads Push to Euthanize Bob Hawke

  By Tim Govers on 14/04/2016 • ( 0 )

  

  Paul Keating says the euthanasia of Bob Hawke is overdue describing it as “the unfinished business of Australia” and suggesting it could precede an overhaul of [selected] former Prime Ministers’ entitlements. Mr Keating who was treasurer in Mr Hawke’s government… Read More ›

• Australian Olympic Team’s Uniform Designers Behind New $5 Note

  By theunozblog on 13/04/2016 • ( 0 )

  

  The team in charge of designing the Australian Olympic team’s uniforms has been revealed as the team commissioned by the Government to develop the new Australian $5 note. A spokesperson for the government explained the decision, saying: “We thought long and… Read More ›

• Government Announces Royal Commission Into Cost Of Printer Toner

  By theunaustralianblog on 13/04/2016 • ( 0 )

  

  Australian printer owners have welcomed the announcement of a royal commission into the high cost of printer toner. “I had to get a bank loan to cover the cost of printing off five copies of a picture I made of… Read More ›

• Bill Shorten Appoints Stephen Bradbury As His Chief Of Staff

  By theunozblog on 12/04/2016 • ( 0 )

  

  Labor leader Bill Shorten has appointed former speed-skating Olympic gold medallist Steven Bradbury as his Chief of Staff, in anticipation of winning the next election. A spokesperson for the Opposition leader spoke to The (un)Australian about the controversial appointment, saying:… Read More ›

• Kidnapping Department Now Most Profitable Department Of Channel Nine

  By theunaustralianblog on 11/04/2016 • ( 2 )

  

  Following a poor summer of test cricket and declining ratings for renovation based reality shows Channel Nine has announced that its kidnapping department is the only sector of the company that has turned a profit in 2106. “The only thing… Read More ›

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