The Australian government will today announce a one-off intake of refugees from war-torn Syria and it is expected to prioritise those most at risk, National Rugby League (NRL) fans.
A government official spoke to The (un)Australian about the decision to prioritise NRL fans, saying: “We are in danger of seeing the extinction of the NRL fan in Australia, predators like the AFL, soccer and Rupert Murdoch are really doing it damage. In Syria the game isn’t even played, who do these poor people shout at on a Saturday?”
When asked why specify which type of refugees would be given priority, the spokesperson replied: “We want to make this transition as smooth as possible to those most affected by this crisis, our voters.”
“I mean spare a thought to the people of Penrith who will be stuck in traffic after the influx of refugees, at least if they’re following a truck with a Rabbitoh’s sticker on the back it will give them something to shout about.”
A spokesperson for the AFL slammed the government’s decision, saying: “They can import a million NRL fans into the country and they’ll still play to empty stadiums.”
The government is expected to finalise numbers later this week, just in time for everybody to be distracted by the football finals.