Mike Baird Visits Flood Site, Weeps Over Lost Pokies Revenue

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Visiting the town of Forbes to inspect the damage inflicted on the region due to floods, NSW Premier Mike Baird has broken down in tears over the potential loss of pokies revenue.

Speaking to The (un)Australian, a distraught Premier said: “I apologise for getting emotional, but seeing the damage done and knowing that these poor people will be unable to go to their local club for some valuable pokies time really tugged at my heartstrings.

“I mean all their disposable income will have to be frittered away on such novelties as new appliances and carpet instead of valuable resources like the Queen of the Nile machine.”

Asked whether the state would offer compensation, the premier replied: “Absolutely, we will look at tax breaks for all NSW clubs and run shuttle buses from Forbes to the Star Casino. As well I will personally apologise to James Packer for any inconvenience caused and offer him five more levels for his Barangaroo casino.”

NSW Opposition leader Luke Foley could not be reached for comment as he was busy rounding up Forbes residents and driving them to the Dapto dog track.

Mark Williamson
www.twitter.com/MWOh44

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