South Australian Senator Cory Bernardi fresh off threatening Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull that he’ll take his bat and ball and go home for the umpteenth time has today taken back a friendship bracelet he made former Prime Minister Tony Abbott. Declaring they were no longer, “Best Friends For Life.”
Speaking to The (un)Australian an emotional Bernardi said of Abbott: “Tony is nothing more than a big poo poo head. He wouldn’t know common sense if it slapped him the face, he’s not my friend the only friend I have is my big cuddly teddy bear George Christensen. He’s my friend, together we’re going to take over the world with our new No Malcolm’s or Tony’s Party, you’ll see.”
When reached for comment former Prime Minister Tony Abbott was circumspect on Senator Bernardi taking back his friendship bracelet, saying: “Every true friendship has it’s ups and downs as they say and Cory and I will work through this and come out stronger on the other side with me as Prime Minister and he as my loyal deputy. The onions will flow freely and the Prince’s will all be knighted you just wait and see.”
Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull could not be reached for comment as he was busy writing on the Parliament house toilet walls that ‘Cory hates Tony’ and ‘Onions are for losers.’
Opposition leader Bill Shorten was reached for comment but was unable to stop laughing when we asked him for comment on Senator Bernardi’s falling out with Mr Abbott.
Mark Williamson
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