The Australian people are today in shock to learn that Bill Shorten not Tony Abbott is the countries official opposition leader. The discovery was made when a press conference was held to announce the opposition’s tax changes for pensioners policy and Mr Shorten turned up instead of the expected Mr Abbott.
“You could have knocked me down with a feather when Bill Shorten walked out instead of Tony,” said Australian voter Ian Fairweather. “I mean for the last couple of years Tony Abbott has led the attacks on the Prime Minister. His campaign of sniping and undermining has been very effective.”
“Whereas Bill Shorten has sat back and said nothing really.”
A newspoll released this week found that over 70% of Australians had Tony Abbott as preferred opposition leader. The same poll found that one out of every ten voters could recognise Bill Shorten in a police lineup.
When reached for comment Tony Abbott said of the poll: “Well maybe I’ll have to challenge Bill Shorten for his job, when does he reach 30 consecutive negative polls?”