The Australian Army over night named former Prime Minister Tony Abbott it’s 2018 Sniper of the year, at the annual Army awards night.
“We are witnessing a sniper that is truly at the top of his game,” said an Army Spokesperson. “He has taken out 5 Prime Ministers in the past 10 years, unbelieveable.”
“Especially when you factor in one of those Prime Ministerships was his own.”
When asked what the secret of his success was Mr Abbott replied: “I am born to take things out. I have axed taxes, stopped boats, eaten onions and by Midday today fingers crossed I will have murdered Malcolm.”
“Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to do a celebratory triathlon before the Midday meeting.”