Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton is tipped to be the big winner in Prime Minister-elect Scott Morrison’s cabinet reshuffle with insiders speculating he may pick up the new Ministry for strangling puppies.
“Peter has played a big role in the rise of ScoMo so it makes sense for him to be rewarded,” said a Liberal party insider. “Home affairs is already a pretty big portfolio so why not get him something else that he will really enjoy doing.”
“Peter Dutton has always enjoyed strangling the odd puppy or two so why not let him make this a focus of his job.”
When asked why the Government needed a Minister for strangling puppies the Liberal party insider replied: “Well we can’t just have unregulated puppy strangling that’s just madness. Someone’s gotta be in charge and why not Peter?:
“Better him strangling puppies than refugees.”
Prime Minister ScoMo is expected to announce his full cabinet reshuffle later in the week once he has sought approval from Rupert Murdoch.