Prime Minister ScoMo has sought to reassure welfare recipients that the new cashless welfare card will be accepted at Engadine Maccas.
“As a compassionate conservative I do practice tough love but not so tough as to deprive someone the relief of going to Engadine Maccas,” said the Prime Minister. “Rest assured Australia that if you’re on the dole and need to lay some cable but don’t have a dollar in your pocket for a cheeseburger, then the card will come to your rescue.”
When asked why the card will be accepted at Engadine Maccas and not say Alice Springs Maccas or Tennant Creek Maccas the Prime Minister replied: “Well isn’t it obvious?”
“They’re not in my electorate.”
“It’s not like you know one day after Peter Dutton challenges me or even more far fetched Labor gets it’s act together and actually beats me at an election and I’m wandering around after a Sharkies win looking to drop some kids off at the pool that I’ll wander into Alice Springs Maccas is it?”
“Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to test out the toilets on my new plane Shark 2, I was gonna call it Shark 1 but Greg Norman called his plane that.”