Independent (sic) Senator Jacqui Lambie has refused to disclose how many magic beans the Government gave her in exchange for her voting to repeal the Medevac legislation in the Senate.
“Look, I will not disclose any detail about my negotiations with the Government,” said Senator Lambie. “Let’s just say I’m happy with the deal I made and thankful to the Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton for returning my family to me unharmed.”
“Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to inquire about getting people in to protective custody.”
When asked why she refused to disclose details about her deal with the Government Senator Lambie said: “Because I don’t want Dutton coming after my loved ones. You’ve seen what he’s done to the boat people imagine what he could do to my kids.”
“This interviews over I’ve got to get out of here before he finds me.”
Minister Dutton could not be reached for comment as he was out celebrating the repealing of the Medevac legislation by strangling a few puppies.
Mark Williamson
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Categories: Politics
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The (un)Australian 
To,
Officer-In-Charge,
Resettlement Unit,
United Nation High Commissioner for Refugees, Date: 27th November 2018
570, Jalan Bukit Petaling,
PO Box.10185, 50706 Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.
Subject: A humble request to consider this application under resettlement program
Dear sir/Madam,
I, Mohammed Fahaz bin Mohd Faizal, UN Ref:No.354-14C06573 ,am a genuine and certified Refugee of Malaysia. As a refugee, I and my family are facing inexpressible difficulties in our life and liberty and would like to draw your kind and sympathetic attention on this matter.
I left from my ancestral country to avoid persecution by military government due to my difficulties in race, religion, nationality and culture. I left everything behind in rescue of my life and arrived in Malaysia.
In Malaysia, my current situation is very fearful and with full of uncertainties.
I had been arrested by the police oftenly then I had to pay money likely 100/200 and 400 RM to them for my releases without any reasons and I had been robbed by (Local Indian) oftenly then they have taken away 2000 RM , my wallet, my phone and they have beaten me as well. After wards, I was beaten by the local Indian while I was working at my working place then I made a complain about them to my employer and then they have threaten me that they will be kill me if I am going to stay in Malaysia continuously. Since the incident happened with local Indians, they used to call me by phone to see them as well as they came to my house to kill me often . Whenever they came to my house and knock the door, I have to run away to outside immediately. So I am worrying that I will be killed by them if I am going to stay in this country. Please try to save my life under international protection agency. Here, it is very hard to seek a stable job to support my family’s very basic needs such as food, shelter, clothing,,,,,, etc. It seems that everybody is taking advantages of us because we are refugees.
I also came to know that Malaysia is not a signatory in 1951 refugee convention and do not recognize the rights of refugees and asylum seekers in this country. Refugee’s children are not allowed to study in government school and deny them to access to receive medical treatment in government facilities.
Currently I cannot think of finding a long lasting solution for my protection except approaching your office in order to seek international protection under the resettlement program. I believe that I am an entitled refugee worth to be considered under this program.
I never think of going back to my country of origin unless the military government ensure us of our basic rights to citizenship, freedom of movement and religion which every citizen of the world are enjoying. It is sure that the military regime will arrest me, imprison me and torture me to death if I were to be returned because of my race, religion and ethnicity.
I, therefore, respectfully request to kindly consider this application in your resettlement program. I have full confidence on you and your staff that you will pay this application a favorable consideration and will grant me to enjoy international protection for which I am entirely deserve under this program.
Thank you.
I look forward to hearing from you very soon.
Name of the family members are :
Name Father’s Name Date of Birth Relationship
Mosana Mohd Rashid 01/01/1990 Wife
Nur Faiz Mohamad Fahaz 01/01/2012 Son
Noorebrahem Mohamad Fahaz 04/09/2014 Son
Asma Mohamad Fahaz 17/06/2017 Daughter
Yours Obediently,
Mohamad Fahaz bin Mohd Faizal
UN File No: 354-14C06573
Phone Number : 0186638291
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Very good post! I really enjoyed your differing perspective! I have recently published an article on my blog about Australia’s refugee failure. If you have time, it would be great if you could check it out, as I would be interested to hear your thoughts! Thanks 🙂
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