Joyce Demands ScoMo Overturn The Bonk Ban Or He’ll Piss On The Floor Of Parliament


Former deputy Prime Minister and self-confessed ‘families man’ Barnaby Joyce has demanded the Prime Minister overturn the so-called bonk Ban, a policy which forbids parliamentary liaisons between politicians and their staffers otherwise he will piss on the floor of parliament.

“It’s time that the Prime Minister started treating his colleagues like adults,” said former special envoy for the drought Barnaby Joyce. “If he doesn’t agree to overturn this ridiculous bonk ban then I have no choice other than to piss on the floor of parliament.”

“The Australian people deserve better than this.”

When asked why when the country was currently fighting drought, fires, disease and floods he felt it was the best time to be focusing on a bonk ban, Barnaby Joyce said: ”The Australian people want their members of parliament to be acting for them and we can’t act if we’re distracted by a ban on bonking.”

“Put yourself in my shoes, I’m in my office and see a good sort and I think to myself, I’ll have a crack at that but then I remember I’m banned from bonking.”

”How can I solve the countries drought when I can’t solve my own drought due to the bloody bonking ban.”

The Prime Minister was unavailable for comment.

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Politics

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