Michaelia Cash Promises A New Whiteboard For Every Court Room In Her New Role As Attorney General

Australia’s new acting Attorney General Michaelia Cash has promised to deliver a brand new white board to every court room in the country as part of her plan to make court rooms safer space for the accused.

“Court rooms are scary places or so I’ve been told,” said Senator Cash. ”So, I could think of nothing more comforting than a giant whiteboard for a defendant to hide behind in their darkest hour.”

“Of course no doubt some of the lefties will decry the use of a whiteboard as opposed to a blackboard but to them I say the use of chalk can be problematic.”

When asked whether she believed that her colleague Christian Porter should stand down from the role pending an investigation, Senator Cash said: “Ah, look at this stage I’m just going to focus on doing the best job that I can do and who knows.”

“If ScoMo wants to make this a permanent thing, well then I’ll leave it up to him.”

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, the PM is shouting me dinner to celebrate my new role, do you know how to get to Engadine McDonalds?”

Mark Williamson


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Categories: Politics

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