Porter Tells The Nation’s Scientists To Hurry Up And Invent A Time Machine Or That Gun From Men In Black

Australia’s newest Minister for Industry, Science And Innovation Christian Porter has called on the Nation’s scientists to “get cracking on inventing a time machine or better yet one of those guns from Men In Black that erases peoples memories.”

”It’s time for our scientists to start working on practical and useful inventions, like time machines or memory wiping guns,” said Minister Porter. ”I mean how many men could a memory wiping gun help?”

”If I had one of those I’d still be the Attorney General.”

When asked why he was so concerned with wiping people’s memories or travelling back in time, the Minister said: ”Well how else am I going to become Prime Minister?”

”It’s my destiny you know, everyone from my Grandfather to my Nanny, to our Families Driver has told me so.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am still on sick leave. Suing the National Broadcaster is stressful work you know.”

Mark Williamson


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