Scott Morrison’s next door neighbour has once again been creeped out by the sight of the Prime Minister obsessively watching him over the side fence and taking notes on all his activities.
“It’s like the guy has no idea how a normal human being is supposed to behave and is using me as some kind of a suburban dad template,” said Kirribilli resident Norm Fellowes from atop a stepladder as he took down last year’s Christmas lights.
“I was just washing the wife’s hair in the backyard only last week and there he was at his kitchen window with his little notebook scribbling away.”
Morrison allegedly spent hours quizzing Fellowes about the details of a holiday the family took to Hawaii and was spotted hurriedly ducking back into his front door holding a camera with one of those long telephoto lenses on it after being caught snapping shots of his neighbour hosing the front lawn.
“I’ll still vote for Scomo because at least he makes the effort to pretend to be a daggy dad like myself, as opposed to Albo who for some reason pretends to be the dad who got off worst in family court and only sees the kids every second weekend,” said Fellowes as took a whole fish off the barbecue.
“How can you trust a guy to run the country when he can’t even hire a decent spin doctor?”
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