Bolt Pledges To Never Get Out Of Bed To Avoid Being Woke

Low rating Sky News TV host Andrew Bolt has pledged that he will no longer leave his bed so as to avoid being woke.

”I call upon my fellow conservative soldiers to join me in a sleep in against wokeness,” said the man the Federal Court found to have breached the Racial Discrimination Act. ”If we don’t take up the battle, then heavens to betsy, what will happen to our children.”

”Hopefully sanity will prevail and the youth of the Nation will reach out and be touched by the likes of Cardinal George Pell.”

When asked what his definition of ”woke” was, the low rating TV host said: ”Woke, err, the mere mention of the word makes me cringe, is simply put anything that I disagree with.”

”Greta Thunberg she’s woke. Bananas in pajamas, typical ABC left wing rubbish, wearing nightware to rub it in how woke they are, appalling.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, Cardinal Pell is coming around to tuck me in, such a decent chap. He said he had some sleepy time communion wine that will help me nod right off.’

Mark Williamson

www.twitter.com/MWChatShow

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