Barnaby Blames The Stress Of The Bonk Ban On His Latest ‘Escapade’

The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has blamed the stress of the bonk ban on his most recent drunken Wednesday night antics, which involved him falling off a planter box and swearing loudly into his phone.

”That bloody bonk ban, when will it end,” decried the member for New England. ”In the good old days, you have skin full and you could sleep it off at a staffers place.”

‘But not these days, now you have to go out wandering around looking for a root.”

When asked if he had a problem with alcohol, given his latest mid-week antics, the shadow minister for home affairs said: ”It’s all been over-blown, unlike me.”

”Look, what’s the latest story we’re running with?”

”Oh, that’s right, I mixed the booze with some meds and got a bit woozy. Happens to the best of us.”

”Will say though, without the bonk ban I could of shared my pills with a lovely staffer for the evening and no planters would’ve been harmed. Happy Malcolm?”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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