The Australian media’s favourite politician, Peter Dutton, has demanded that Prime Minister Anthony Albanese call an election so that he (Dutton) can use the current welfare budget to invest in a hot stock tip.

”The sooner that Albo calls the election and I get put in charge the better,” said the member for Dixon. ”I mean this stock tip is time dependent, kind of like the time I made a killing on the banks.”

”Maybe Albo needs to spend less time playing dress ups at the Mardi Gras and more time focusing on the market.”

When asked why he was seemingly avoiding all questions about his alleged insider trading, the Opposition leader said: ”I do not accept that I run away from questions.”

”That’s just a smear from the Labor dirt unit, typical of that weak leader Anthony Albanese.”

“That’s enough media talk for today, I’m off to strangle a few puppies.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: Politics

Tags: Albo, Anthony Albanese, auspol, Australia, Bank Shares, budget, Election, Insider Trading, Insiders, Peter Dutton, PM, satire, Shares, Sky News, The Bolt Report