Peter Dutton’s shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has begged his leader to take him off the bench and get him back on the campaign trail, claiming that he is the only one able to bring the ladies back to the Coalition.

”What use is a bull if he’s stuck in the paddock staring at the cows,” mused the member for New England. ”Ask anyone and they’ll tell you that Barnaby Joyce is the man you want out and about pressing the flesh.”

”So, come on Dutts get me in to the game.”

When asked why he was seemingly put out to pasture in the lead up to the campaign, the member for New England said: ”They said something about polls showing that I’m unappealing to inner city women.”

”I tell you what, give me a chance to poll all those inner city women.”

”I’ll turn them from swingers to rusted on’s in no time.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: Politics

Tags: Adultery, auspol, Australia, Barnaby Joyce, cheating, Coalition, Election, Female, Home Affairs, Infedility, Insiders, New England, Peter Dutton, QandA, satire, Swing Vote, Swingers, Swining Voters, Women