The last election wasn’t the result we were all hoping for, let’s be honest. I’m still stunned that someone as likeable, masculine and, uh, dare I say it, virile as Peter Dutton failed to win over the electorate.

Never mind, there’s always the next election and I’m sure that if they follow my 6 point plan, listed below, then we will soon be welcoming Prime Minister Angus Taylor.

1. Start knighting more Princes. William, Edward, Andrew* give them all a knighthood. The Australian people responded well when I knighted Prince Philip, why everywhere I went I was met with fits of laughter. So, come on Sussan let’s get a knighting.
2. Stop the boats. Not literally just keep mentioning it at every opportunity. Worked wonders for Myself. Three word slogans are the key to winning elections.
3. Step aside Sussan, it’s Angus’ time to shine. Let’s face it, women aren’t meant to be Prime Ministers. It’s a job for the boys.
4. Listen to the people. Rupert, Gina, Lachlan, they know what’s best for them, which is also what’s best for Australia.
5. Stop the boats. Again, say it at every opportunity.
6. Where ever you go wear hi-vis. People want to see a politician in action, so visit a farm, eat an onion, give welding a go, where ever there’s a camera grab a vest and have a go.

So, there you go my 6 point plan that will you bet I am, I mean you bet will get Angus in to the Lodge and Albo in to retirement.

*Maybe skip knighting Prince Harry till he’s out of his Meaghan phase.

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Categories: Opinion

Tags: Albo, Angus Taylor, Anthony Albanese, auspol, Australia, Gina Rinehart, Insiders, Knighthoods, Lachlan Murdoch, onion, Peter Dutton, Prince Andrew, Prince Harry, Prince William, QandA, Rupert Murdoch, satire, Sky News, Stop the Boats, Sussan Ley, Tony Abbott