The Coalition’s shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has told his missus to not wait up for him this weekend as he’s just heading out to a Coldplay concert.

”I’m a big Coldplay fan, I love all their stuff, like, you know, that one and that other song, what a banger,” said the member for New England. ”So, I thought as a treat I’d get together a group of my favourite interns and shout ’em a night out.”

”I’m sure this night will be a real banger, one way or another.”

When asked what his vision was for the next term of parliament, the member for New England said: ”Chaos, anarchy and plenty of vision of me blowing up on TV.”

”But, I do intend to give back by mentoring the next generation.”

”I am very keen to press the flesh with the new batch of staffers joining the ranks and would love for a few of them to work under me.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: Politics

Tags: Adultery, affair, auspol, Australia, Barnaby Joyce, Canberra, Coalition, Coldplay, Insiders, Intern, Labor, Liberals, Nationals, New England, Press The Flesh, QandA, Staffer