The member for New England, know for passing out drunk in the streets of Canberra and impregnating a staff member, Barnaby Joyce, has told One Nation and the Nationals to consider him the golden bachelor and start wooing.

”Look, this ain’t my first time at the rodeo and I know my worth,” said the member for New England. ”Nationals you’ve treated me like a side piece for too long and I want more.”

”One Nation, you’ve made some pretty doe eyes at me but what else you got.”

When asked if he was putting himself ahead of his electorate in his latest act of self-obsessed narcissism, the member for New England said: ”Absolutely not, I work hard to look after the people under me.”

”And at the moment I’m trying my best to get more people under me.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, the lads from One Nation are taking me out for a night at the trots, top that Littleproud.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter @TheUnOz or like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theunoz.

Tickets to our new live show to be held in Sydney on October 18th can be found here: https://www.trybooking.com/DDDMW

Categories: Politics

Tags: Barnaby Joyce, Coalition, David Littleproud, Insiders, Liberals, Narcissist, Nationals, New England, One Nation, Opposition, Pauline Hanson, satire, Sky News, Sussan Ley, The Golden Bachelor