The (un)Australian

Recent Posts - page 213

• Abbott Asks Wife To Bake Him A Cake Big Enough To Hide A Hacksaw

  By theunozblog on 02/12/2019 • ( 0 )

  

  Former Minister for Women Tony Abbott has told friends of how he asked his wife Margie to bake him a cake big enough to conceal a hacksaw so that he could surprise his dear friend and confidant George Pell with… Read More ›

• Aus Open To Change Scoring System To Appease Margaret Court Replacing Love With Hate

  By theunozblog on 02/12/2019 • ( 1 )

  

  The Australian Open tennis tournament has announced that next year to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Margaret Court’s historic Grand Slam they will amend the scoring system used in matches by replacing love with hate. “We have to acknowledge Margaret’s… Read More ›

• Cabinet To All Pitch In And Buy Matthias ‘Numbers Man’ Cormann A Calculator For Christmas

  By theunozblog on 29/11/2019 • ( 0 )

  

  With the end of the parliamentary year in sight Scott Morrison’s cabinet have done a whip around with everybody chipping in to buy Senate Leader Matthias ‘Numbers Man’ Cormann a calculator for Christmas. “In an ideal world we would have… Read More ›

• Frydenburg Promises To Flog Westpac With The Warmest Of Lettuce

  By theunozblog on 28/11/2019 • ( 0 )

  

  Treasurer Josh Frydenburg has told colleagues of his plans to punish rogue bank Westpac by flogging the bank and it’s executives with the warmest lettuce he can find. “Josh is very upset at Westpac right now,” said a Government Insider…. Read More ›

• Australian Farmers Urged To Give Generously To Struggling Banking Executives

  By theunozblog on 27/11/2019 • ( 0 )

  

  Australia’s farmers currently dealing with bush fires and drought have been urged to put their hands in their pockets to give what they can to Australia’s struggling banking executives. “Our poor banking executives are really doing it tough,” said an… Read More ›

• ScoMo Plans On Getting Fit By Hitting The Thoughts And Prayers Hard

  By theunozblog on 25/11/2019 • ( 0 )

  

  Prime Minister Scott Morrison has told his inner circle that he plans to improve his fitness after he struggled on a hike over the weekend and he will be doing so with an extensive regime of ‘thoughts and prayers.’ “The… Read More ›

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