The (un)Australian

Recent Posts - page 361

• Aussie Runner Goes Back To Make Sure Fallen Opponent Stays Down

  By theunaustralianblog on 17/08/2016 • ( 0 )

  

  An Australian athlete has been praised for showing the true spirit of Aussie sportsmanship by stopping in the middle of a 5000 metre race and returning to push a fallen rival back to the ground. “I saw that a runner… Read More ›

• Swimming Australia Calls For More Funding For More Medals

  By theunozblog on 16/08/2016 • ( 0 )

  

  Swimming Australia fresh off a disappointing Rio Olympics medal haul has called on the Australian Federal Government to increase funding to our swimmers in order to win more medals. A spokesperson for Swimming Australia spoke to The (un)Australian about the… Read More ›

• Pauline Hanson Calls For Royal Commission Into How Australians Use The Toilet

  By theunozblog on 15/08/2016 • ( 0 )

  

  One Nation Senator Pauline Hanson has called upon the Turnbull government to hold a Royal Commission into how Australians use their toilets. It follows reports that the Australian Tax Office has recently installed squat toilets for its employees. Speaking to The (un)Australian,… Read More ›

• Mentally Unstable Swagman Drowns Himself In Local Billabong

  By theunozblog on 12/08/2016 • ( 1 )

  

  Three troopers are undergoing counselling after a routine arrest turned to tragedy when the suspect threw himself into a waterhole and drowned. “That escalated rather quickly,” a distraught trooper Andrew Patterson told The (un)Australian. “At most the poor guy was… Read More ›

• Peter Dutton Self Immolates The Last Of His Humanity

  By theunaustralianblog on 12/08/2016 • ( 1 )

  

  Peter Dutton has set fire to the last remaining shred of his humanity in an effort to convince asylum seekers that it is pointless to look at him for empathy over their treatment in offshore detention centres. “Fortunately I only… Read More ›

• Lachlan Macquarie Running Out Of Things To Name After Himself

  By theunozblog on 10/08/2016 • ( 0 )

  

  NSW Governor Lachlan Macquarie has put out an urgent call to all explorers in the colony to go out and find more things he can name after himself. “It’s about time that lazy John Oxley stopped sitting around on his… Read More ›

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