Bill Shorten Amazed That No One Including Himself Has Knifed Him Thus Far


Opposition leader Bill Shorten has remarked on the campaign trail that he is amazed that he has lasted this longer as leader of the Australian Labor Party, expressing surprise that no one, not even himself, has yet tried to knife him.

Mr Shorten told The (un)Australian: “I’m just as surprised as you that I’m sitting here today as leader, I mean we knifed Kevin and the people kinda liked him.

“I guess what I’m saying is a vote for me is a vote for a leader who more than likely will be knifed.”

Political pundits have speculated that Shorten’s open approach to his likely knifing could be the work of genius. Professor Eric Booth from the University of Castle Hill said: “Brilliant move as it appeals to those who don’t like him as he will probably be replaced. It also differentiates him from the Liberals as, if Turnbull is replaced the likely replacement is Abbott and no one other than comedians want that.”

The Federal Election is to be held on July 2nd, with the date for Shorten’s knifing expected to be set shortly after.

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Politics

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