One Nation leader Pauline Hanson has announced that a horse’s ass would be their next candidate for a senate seat.
Ms Hanson said “This is a dream come true. We’ve been searching for a complete horse’s ass since this party’s inception. I led from the front with some of my early work. I was very proud of my ‘Please explain’ and ‘Swamped by Asians’ bits, but I couldn’t maintain that level of stupidity forever. It’s exhausting.” “
Our search for the complete horse’s ass has brought us Malcolm Roberts as well as the ‘gay is the same as polygamy’ guy, the ‘gay people should be treated like patients’ woman and the ‘I don’t understand why a political candidate shouldn’t subscribe to heaps of filthy smut pages on his public FaceBook account’ guy. We knew we could do better though.
“We thought we’d found the perfect horse’s ass with the ‘gay people use Nazi mind control’ woman. I was prepared to dust my hands and say ‘that’s that’, but then James Ashby strolled into my trailer, plonked himself down on a bean bag and said ‘I’ve done it. I’ve found us the perfect One Nation candidate. You’re welcome.’”
”I nearly dropped my West Coast Cooler when he opened the fly screen door and in walked an actual horse’s ass. I’ve always worried about the future of this party when I eventually get assassinated or imprisoned again, but now I know we have a ready-made leader waiting in the wings.”
When asked for comment, the horse’s ass said he wasn’t sure where he would run yet. “I need to weigh up where a horse’s ass is most likely to get elected. Western Australia and Queensland seem to be my best bet so far.