Former Nationals leader Barnaby Joyce has demanded that the Prime Minister conduct a Royal Commission into the member for New England’s sex life.
“It’s time we get to the bottom of this no pun intended and get it all out on the table,” said Mr Joyce. “The Australian public are sick to death of hearing about me being on the job whilst doing a job so let’s throw it all out there and see what happens.”
“Who knows I may not be the kids father in which case we can forget all this happened and I can go back to doing what I do best. Being deputy Prime Minister and second in charge of the coalition. And I guarantee you, when I’m back the coal will no longer be silent in Coalition.”
When reached for comment on Mr Joyce’s sex life the Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull said: “I think this is an issue for the National party to handle. I will be staying out of it and along with most of Australia vomitting into a bucket at the thought of Barnaby Joyce having sex.”
“Now if you’ll excuse me I have a meeting with my party to talk about poll dancing.”