Release Herpes Into Parliament Now, Joyce Urges

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Special envoy for the drought Barnaby Joyce is pushing for the immediate release of a deadly herpes virus into parliament despite scientific warnings against it.

“Look Parliament house is plagued and the only way you get rid of a plague is with disease,” said Special envoy Joyce. “I think it’s time we release the herpes virus and I am volunteering to be the man to do the job, so to speak.”

When asked why he feels he knows better than the scientific community about the release of herpes into Parliament Special envoy Joyce replied: “These scientists sit in their laboratories whilst I’m out there pressing the flesh.”

“What would some point dexter with a test tube know that my mate Macca down at the pub doesn’t already know.”

“It’s time you journalists get out and talk to ordinary everyday Australians rather than your so called scientists and ethics experts.”

Scientists have warned that the release of herpes into parliament will do more harm than good. Warning that it could lead to the extinction of the retail politician and the political staffers that feed off of it.

Mark Williamson 

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