Pauline Hanson’s One Nation party has sent out a press release to congratulate their candidates on going one day without doing something completely stupid.
“This is a great achievement for this party,” said a Party Insider. “I mean at the start of the week it looked like we wouldn’t have a candidate left. What with all the strippers and stupid social media posts.”
“But then wouldn’t you know it our supreme leader Pauline goes on National TV puts on the waterworks and our guys fall into line for a day or so.”
When asked whether the scandals seen thus far in this election would see the party look at amending their candidate selection process the Insider said: “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. Look we may look at not sending our guys to the States again but as far as candidates go what we are doing is working.”
“I mean do you see any of the other parties getting heaps of prime time news coverage? There is definitely madness to our methods. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to the rippers to celebrate with the boys, that’s not a camera on you is it?”
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except Mal Roberts hasn’t paid his Common Informers debt yet. Seems he agreed to settle out of court 18 months or more ago but hasn’t bothered paying up.
A whole day? Fake News!