Government To Issue Every Australian School Student With A Commemorative Lump Of Coal

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The Australian Government has announced plans to issue all Australian School students with a commemorative lump of coal to celebrate the Morrison Government’s re-election.

“We are so blessed in this country to have resources a plenty so why not give them out to our kiddies as a reminder that this is their future,” said Prime Minister Scott Morrison. “We did kick around in Cabinet what we could do for the next generation. Someone suggested levying a tax on them but we felt a lump of coal around their necks was just as good.”

When asked what the students could do with their lumps of coal the Prime Minister reverted back to his advertising days with a passionate and elaborate spiel, saying: “What can they do? What can they do? They can burn it, sell it, throw it a cultural Marxist teacher who tries to pollute their heads with tales of renewables or you know they can bury it for a rainy day.”

“How good is coal?”

Students will be issued their commemorative lumps of coal in the coming weeks. They will also be reminded that the coal is on loan to them on behalf of it’s traditional owners. Adani.

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Politics

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