Prime Minister (for now) Scott Morrison currently attempting to re-enter the country after an overseas jaunt to Hawaii has expressed his frustration at allowing the Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton to arm Border Force agents based at airports around the country with machine guns.

“If the Prime Minister has nothing to hide then he should not fear having a friendly little chat with my Border Force operatives,” said Minister Dutton. “Besides if per chance ScoMo were to get into a tussle with one of my hired goons and a gun were to accidentally go off then the country would be perfectly fine as I would step in as the new glorious leader.”‘

When asked why he assumed he would take over as the countries leader instead of the deputy PM Michael McCormack or the deputy Liberal Leader Josh Frydenburg, Minister Dutton said: ”Let’s just say I have a little file or two in my hands that will happily convince both of those men that I am the better man for the job.”

“Should that fail then I shall have my personal army simply take McCormack or Frydenburg’s family into ‘protective custody.’

“Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go and strangle a puppy, it helps me relax.”

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Politics

Tags: Airport, auspol, Australia, Border Force, Hawaii, Insiders, Machine Gun, Military Coup, Peter Dutton, QandA, Scomo, Scott Morrison, Sydney