Bolt Demands That The Nation’s Parks And Playgrounds Be Opened For George Pell

Bolt

Australia’s ‘most-read blogger’ and aspiring detective Andrew Bolt has called upon the Nation’s leaders to cancel the Australia-wide lock down and open up the country’s parks and playgrounds from tomorrow, as he anticipates that disgraced Cardinal George Pell will be released from prison.

”I’m sure tomorrow that the High Court will free Cardinal Pell and therefore I think we as a nation need to roll out the red carpet, so to speak,” said Mr Bolt. ”The Cardinal has spent so long locked up in a cell that I’m sure he will want to run free through the parks.”

”I can just see it now – the Cardinal swinging on the swings and going down on the children on the slides.”

When asked if it were appropriate that Pell, who is still under investigation on other counts of abuse, should be allowed to frolic in parks with children, Andrew Bolt said: “The Cardinal is innocent, I mean how could he be guilty? He’s white!”

”I yearn for the day when this country stops chopping down tall poppies. Imagine a country where men of the stature of Cardinal Pell are free to reach out and touch the children.”

”What a world it would be!”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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