ScoMo To Consider Adding Former AFL Players To The National Cabinet

Australia’s Prime Minister Scotty from marketing has told colleagues that after seeing multiple articles in Melbourne’s Herald Sun newspaper of former AFL players being critical of Victoria’s Covid restrictions, that he is considering adding a couple of them to the National cabinet.

”Scotty is very impressed with what he’s reading and hearing from past AFL players, like Dane Swan and Luke Darcy about their thoughts on Dan Andrews handling of Covid,” said a Government Insider. ”In times of crisis it’s all hands to the wheel, so why not get a couple of the AFL boys on board.”

”At the very least we could get some of the players thoughts on a time frame on when it’s right to re-open strip clubs and kebab shops.”

When asked why the Prime Minister was seemingly going out of his way to be at odds with the Victorian Premier, the Government Insider said: ”No one is as behind Dan Andrews and Victoria as the PM. ScoMo is there for Victoria, ready and willing to stick the knife in……….and cut out the problem.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to gather some AFL players together, get them on a bus and head to Engadine Maccas for a brainstorming session.”

Mark Williamson


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