Palmer Puts In 45 Billion Dollar Bid For Myspace

Australia’s most annoying billionaire Clive ‘National Treasure’ Palmer has taken a break from spamming the country to announce that he has bid 45 billion dollars to buy antiquated social media site Myspace.

”Who says you can’t buy friends?” Asked Mr Palmer. ”I mean once I own Myspace I will have all the friends in the World,including that Tom bloke.”

”Politicians will do my bidding in an effort to make my top 8 friends list.”

When asked if this is a real thing or just another pie in the sky scheme like Titanic 2 or his many, many impossible election promises, Mr Palmer said: ”Titanic 2 is real and will be delivered at some stage in the next one or two hundred years.”

”As for Myspace, I shall be holding meetings and releasing press releases later this week.”

”Unless of course I think of something else more interesting to do before then.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I saw a dog down the road with a puffy tail, I might chase it, here puff, puff.”

Mark Williamson


You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter @TheUnOz or like us on Facebook

We’re also on Patreon:

The (un)Australian Live At The Newsagency Recorded live, to purchase click here:

Categories: Business

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: