Government To Put All Pensioners On Harvey Norman Gift Cards

Leaked documents have today revealed that the Morrison/Joyce/Murdoch Government plans to put all pensioners on a Harvey Norman gift card form July 1st this year.

”The pension is a form of welfare and people need to remember that,” said a Government Insider. ”Now it’s time for pensioners to give something back to society and they can do that by shopping at Harvey Norman.”

”Here’s hoping that by the end of the year every pensioner in Australia will have a new couch that they can have paid off by the year 2032.”

When asked how Pensioners would be able to buy milk, bread and other groceries from Harvey Norman, the Government Spokesperson said: ”Harvey Norman stock many, many products.”

”I mean last time I was there I saw that they had a wonderful café, maybe they can negotiate to buy milk there.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to have a very important meeting with a one Gina Rinehart. She has some ideas on how to make work for the dole work better, for her.”

Mark Williamson


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