Former Prime Minister fresh out of the deep freeze for the election John Howard was today shocked to learn that women and minorities are in fact allowed to vote in the upcoming election.
”I have to say that the news has come as a bit of a surprise to me,” said Mr Howard, ”All those years that Janet accompanied me to the voting booth I thought she was doing it as a show of support.”
”Never in my wildest imagination did I think she was actually voting.”
When asked for his views on Australia’s housing affordability problem, the former Prime Minister said: ”I don’t see what the problem is, I have a house, my kids have houses, everyone I know has a house.”
”Australians need to stop complaining and accept their lot in life.”
”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back on the campaign trail otherwise Scott, err, ScoMo will chuck me into a nursing home. And not the good type, the type that pops up every now and then on A Current Affair.”
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