The Government’s unofficial cheer leaders News Corp have ordered all their journalists to drop everything and get to the seat of Kooyong to help the Nation’s Treasurer Josh Frydenberg with his campaign to retain the seat.
”For some reason Rupert is a big fan of little Joshie Frydenberg,” said a News Corp Executive. ”That or Josh has some compromising photos of Lord Rupert maybe throwing his hotdog down another hall.”
”Either way, Rupert wants to keep Josh.”
When asked why the News Corp papers were seemingly siding with the Government as opposed to remaining impartial, the News Corp Executive said: ”What Rupert wants, Rupert gets, and for some reason he thinks it’s in his best interest to have a ScoMo over an Albo.”
”He is getting on in years you know and doesn’t always get it right.”
”I mean remember when he told Australia that they need Tony Abbott, oh boy, we still laugh at that one.”
”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get down to Surrey Hills train station and hand out some how to vote cards.”
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Sky News hard hitting reporter Paul “Mudguts” Murray (remember his in depth interview with Donald Duckey Trump when he asked “Have you got a message for all your followers back home in Orstralia” the Duck was stunned and couldn’t offer a reply, well now Mudguts has declined a last minute PM debate live from Wombat World at Mudgee. Fresh from agonising over Albo’s prevote pitch Sunday night when his ratings finished a close tie for 7th Most Popular Sunday night show with the 102nd rerun of Mr Ed, the talking donkey dressed up as a horse, said he’d look too much like one of the in-house wombats. “My viewers are very discerning but I’m afraid I’d have to shave my beard so my people could tell me apart from Wally Wombat the grand daddy of the colony whose beard is equally impressive. “Wally’s a great mate we often compare our most recent culinary delights by shifting through each others beards, he goes more for the vegetation stuff, I for the burgers as you can tell.