Joyce Tells Flood Victims To Steer Clear Of Water As The Rights Belong To The Nationals

Former deputy PM Barnaby Joyce has issued a warning to those affected by flooding to steer clear of the water and under no circumstances try to sell off the rights as it belongs to the National party.

”To those currently under water stay safe but most importantly stay away from my water rights,” said the former deputy PM. ”I put a lot of time and effort in working out a deal that benefited Me, Angus Taylor and of course the Farmers.”

”Speaking of Angus, he’s the shadow Treasurer now, I should hit him up for a loan.”

When asked what policies he’d been working on whilst in Opposition, the Member for New England said: ”Well I’ve spent a lot of time trying to convince Dutts to chuck out the bonk ban.”

”I mean come on, now that we’re not in power what else is there to do besides chase after our staffers.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to take my daily stroll around the corridors of parliament house to see if anyone has hired any good sorts lately.”

Mark Williamson


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Categories: Politics

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