Barnaby Tells The Greens: Parliament Is No Place For Secret Relationships

The shadow Minister for home affairs Barnaby Joyce has taken time out of his busy day, foregoing his afternoon nap, to tell the Greens that Parliament is no place for secret relationships.

”I know you get to Canberra and your first instinct is to root around,” said the Member for New England. ”Trust me, we’ve all been there, Tudgey, Christian, Myself.”

”But, you can’t let it get in the way of your work.”

When asked if it was hypocritical for members of the Opposition to be attacking Senator Lidia Thorpe given their track record, the shadow Minister for Home Affairs said: ”I am more than willing to take Senator Thorpe under my wing and mentor her on the ways of the Senate.”

”This offer applies to all Greens members and staffers, ladies only of course.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some interns I have to mentor. Today’s lesson is all about bonking, err, the bonk ban.”

Mark Williamson


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