Column: Angus Taylor’s Budget Tips And Tricks

Firstly I would like to thank for the opportunity to share with you a few tips and tricks that will not only work on the Federal budget but could also help you with your own household budget.

Times are tough, don’t believe me, ask Barnaby Joyce. The poor bugger can barely afford to go out and is forced to stay home most nights with his family.

As the Nation grapples with trillions of dollars of debt, that let’s face it, the Albanese Government failed to stop us racking up, we need to start paying the money back.

How do we do it? Well firstly, Cash Converters. The Government has a lot of assets just laying around that we could easily take down to Cash Converters Belconnen and flog.

Why just look at my office in parliament house, there are computers, paintings, briefing papers, heaps of stuff that has no use and could be easily pawned.

Have we considered starting an Only Fans account? There are plenty of good sorts walking around parliament house, so Barnaby Joyce tells me. So why not start up a Parliament house Only Fans. I’m sure we could call on some past PM’s to don the speedos and do their part for the Nation. Looking at you Mr Howard.

Now, this one might be a bit controversial but have we thought about privatising Victoria? Not many votes there for the Coalition so let’s put the State to work and get it earning. Peter Dutton was joking the other day that heck, maybe the Sudanese may want to buy it.

Merchandising, if Jim Chalmers has actually brought the budget back to surplus then why not celebrate it with some merchandising. I know where he can get a few pallets of coffee mugs for a fair deal.

These are just a few ideas off the top of my head. Want to know more then please get in touch and I am happy to appear at a fundraiser near you.

Fantastic. Great move. Well done Angus.

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Categories: Opinion

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