Dutton Defends Hiring Controversial Death Eaters To Guard Manus Island

Beleaguered Opposition leader Peter Dutton has defended his time in office as head of home affairs, including his controversial decision to hire death eaters to guard Manus Island.

”My record as head of home affairs was beyond reproach,” cried the Dark Lord. ”At no stage did Harry Potter and his gang of degenerates breach the confines of Manus.”

”Can Mr Albanese make the same claim?”

When asked to explain why he would award million dollar contracts to those under suspicion of crime, the Dark Lord said: ”I take people at their word. Knowing full well that should they cross me that I will see them in hell.”

”How dare the media question me, the Dark Lord.”

”This day has really pushed me, so now I will be off, to strangle a puppy or two to relax.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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