The Opposition’s shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has told colleagues that he will defy the Coalition and seek to introduce a private member’s bill that will repeal the net zero bonk ban.

”Australians have had a gutful of their elected representatives getting net zero,” said an exasperated member for New England. ”Parliament is hard work and the least we can get is the opportunity for a bit of relief.”

”I’m a man dammit, not a machine.”

When asked why Barnaby felt a crusade against net zero was the best way to recover from a devastating election loss, the member for New England said: ”The people spoke and we didn’t listen, the message was clear, end the bonk ban.”

”Labor never had to worry about a bonk ban or members of their cabinet rooting staff.”

”Well, if they did they did a bloody good job of hiding it.”

”Anyway, I’m off to continue my crusade against net zero, I need to find a horse that will help me charge a windmill.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: Science

Tags: abc730, Adultery, Albo, Anthony Albanese, auspol, Australia, Barnaby Joyce, Bonk Ban, climate change, Coalition, Insiders, Labor, Liberal, Nationals, Net Zero, QandA, satire, Sky News, Sussan Ley