Clive Palmer and Pauline Hanson have come together to demand that Bill Shorten and Scott Morrison include them in all future leaders mass debates.
“I’m Clive Palmer I lead a party and I spend more money on advertising than most second world countries, when I talk people listen and if they don’t listen then I text them incessantly until they do listen,” said Mr Palmer. “Bill Shorten and Scott Morrison need to reach out to me, Clive Palmer and include me in all future debates, as it’s not a mass debate with just two people.”
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I Clive Palmer am off to do stuff, important stuff, not sure what but if I’m doing it then it must be important.”
Senator Hanson was also insistent on being included in all future mass debates, saying “The people of Australia want to hear from One Nation, I mean the last election alone 77 of them voted for Malcolm Roberts….that’s like 50 more votes that Fraser Anning got. So it makes no sense for me to not be included in any future debates.”
“After all, I’m great at debating, no one has ever beaten me in an argument. After half an hour or so they usually leave to go and bash their head against the wall.”
Neither Bill Shorten nor Scott Morrison was available for comment as they were busy mass debating each other.