Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has told reporters how he has replaced his old hobby of strangling puppies with a new hobby of meditating.
“The old Peter would come home after a day of failed leadership attempts and try to unwind by strangling a puppy or two,” said the Minister. “But not anymore, now a days I come home, sit down, get my breathing aligned and visualise strangling a puppy, kitten, leadership rival or refugee.”
“I tell you meditation has changed my life and saved me from spending a fortune on puppies.”
When asked why the sudden change of hobbies Minister Dutton replied: “Well I realised I need to be more like our interim Prime Minister Scott Morrison if I hoped to usurp him. I did try going to church however the skies clouded over and a sudden lightning storm appeared.”
“So I went with meditation instead.”
Mark Williamson
You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter or like us on facebook
Categories: Politics
Related Articles
-
One Nation Calls For A Ban On Writer’s Festivals As They Discriminate Against Their Voters
-
One Nation Surges In Popularity With 9 Out Of 10 Adulterers Now On Board
-
Frydenberg Defends Handing Out How To Vote Flyers At Memorial Services
-
Barnaby Unsure Why Trump Invaded Voo Voo Zella But Supports Him None The Less
The (un)Australian 
Leave a comment