Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has told reporters how he has replaced his old hobby of strangling puppies with a new hobby of meditating.
“The old Peter would come home after a day of failed leadership attempts and try to unwind by strangling a puppy or two,” said the Minister. “But not anymore, now a days I come home, sit down, get my breathing aligned and visualise strangling a puppy, kitten, leadership rival or refugee.”
“I tell you meditation has changed my life and saved me from spending a fortune on puppies.”
When asked why the sudden change of hobbies Minister Dutton replied: “Well I realised I need to be more like our interim Prime Minister Scott Morrison if I hoped to usurp him. I did try going to church however the skies clouded over and a sudden lightning storm appeared.”
“So I went with meditation instead.”