Prime Minister Scotty from marketing has talked of temporarily lifting social distancing restrictions to allow Australians to celebrate the 250th anniversary of Captain Cook’s voyage to Australia.
“We have done pretty well by social distancing, the curve is flattened so to speak,” said Prime Minister Scotty. ”So, maybe it’s time we looked at relaxing a bit, I mean it’s not like every year we can celebrate the anniversary of Captain Cook’s voyage.”
“Besides, what harm can come of a bunch of patriots sinking a few tinnies in the Shire and reminiscing about the good old days when Captain Cook was a hero.”
When asked whether there would be any other events that the Government would allow an exemption to, the Prime Minister said: “People’s health and safety is this Government’s first priority, however, we also know that mental health is something we need to look after as well.”
”Events like the footy, Captain Cook and Hillsong are things we will look at prioritising as we know that they bring great happiness and amazing photo opportunities for certain members of the community.”
”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to investigate whether the cleaning at Engadine Maccas is up to scratch so that we can look at potentially re-opening that as well.”
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