The Morrison Government is currently drafting legislation for a plebiscite to be held later this year which will allow Australians to vote on which former Prime Ministers will be carved into Uluru, as an homage to the United States’ Mount Rushmore.
”What an opportunity for the people of Australia to choose their favourite Prime Ministers to be carved into the side of Uluru,” said the Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing. ”I dare say it will be tough for them to limit their choices to just four!”
”I mean, you have John Howard, Menzies, Billie McMahon, Harold Holt, and you never know – maybe someone a bit more current, like, oh, I don’t know, your old mate ScoMo?!”
When asked why in pandemic times was the Government focusing on desecrating a sacred site to create a monument to former Prime Ministers, Scott Morrison said: ”This is a chance for my Government to give Australia’s artists some work. We’ll definitely need a lot of sculptors to get this done.”
”Also, it will give the Northern Territory a much needed boost in tourism. If John Howard is voted in as one of the faces, think of all the grey nomads who will flock to the rock to pay tribute to to the Godfather of franking credits!”
”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to do a bit of sculpting of my own at Engadine Maccas.”
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(1) Edmund Barton (1901-1903) – Australia’s 1st Prime Minister
(2) Alfred Deakin (1903-1904, 1905-1908, 1909-1910) – 2nd PM and was PM 3 times!
(3) Andrew Fisher (1908-1909, 1910-1913, 1914-1915) – 3 terms worth
(4) Billy Hughes (1915-1923) – 8 years in a row!
(5) Robert Menzies (1939-1941, 1949-1966) – 2 terms worth, 8 years apart, and a whopping 17 years in a row and 19 years total – a must-have – also gave Aboriginals the vote
(6) Malcolm Fraser (1975-1983) – 8 years
(7) Bob Hawke (1983-1991) – 8 years and very well-known figure. Usurped while in office.
(8) John Howard (1996-2007) – 11 years! And this was after even longer as opposition leader! Brought us GST, got rid of overtime and tried to get rid of unfair dismissal!
(9) Kevin Rudd (2007-2010) – Australia’s most popular ever PM, usurped by his own party because he was too friendly with China, something exposed on Wikileaks but still most Australians think he just wasn’t liked. Also said sorry to Aboriginals – a very important moment!
(10) Julia Gillard (2010-2013) – The beneficiary of the CIA’s involvement in Australian politics, and also Australia’s first ever female PM.
(11) Scott Morrison (2018-) – The recipient of a praise from Queen Elizabeth II for his effort in suppressing Covid-19 better than most other countries, only to have all of his hard work undone by Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews. Also completely stuffed up the handling of the bushfires. But focus on the praise from the queen please!