Government back bencher and aspiring Minister for home affairs Barnaby Joyce has told the Prime Minister if he were to lose the bonk ban, a rule prohibiting Ministers from having relationships with their staff, then he (Mr Joyce) would take care of his colleagues Michael McCormack and George Christensen.

”All the Prime Minister has to do is drop the bonk ban and I will fix a couple of his problems,” said Mr Joyce. ”I mean with me back in as deputy PM that’ll take care of dozey McCormack, the poor old bugger can go back to dressing up as Elvis.”

”And as for old Georgey boy, well nothing a diplomatic posting to Manila won’t fix.”

When asked why he was so against the bonk ban, the Member for New England said: ”Canberra is a lonely place and with Covid and bloody smart phones it’s not like you can go out trawling bars looking for a root.”

”So, why shouldn’t a Minister and their significant junior staffer get it on if they want to?”

”You know some religions allow for men to have multiple wives, maybe we should embrace multi-culturalism.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I hear one of the Greens has a good sort working in their offices, I need to see if she’s keen in exploring some old growth, if you know what I mean.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: Politics

Tags: auspol, Barnaby Joyce, Engadine MAccas, George Christensen, Insiders, Matt Canavan, Michael McCormack, Politics, QandA, Scomo, Scott Morrison, Scotty From Marketing, The NAtionals