Morrison Reminds The Press That He’s Already Flogged Craig Kelly With The Warmest Of Lettuce

Prime Minister Scotty from marketing has this morning taken the opportunity to remind the press that he has already flogged Government back bencher Craig Kelly with the warmest of lettuce. The reminder comes after Kelly spent the weekend posting conspiracy theories to Facebook.

”To those in the press who keep bringing up Craig Kelly, I’ve dealt with this matter already, move on,” said the PM. ”After all, it’s not like I run Facebook now do I.”

”You all need to do what I do when it comes to social media, hire a team to mange it for you.”

When asked why he wouldn’t take further action against Kelly given that he appears to be deliberately defying the PM’s orders, the PM said: ”I reject the premise of your question.”

”Craig Kelly is doing a good job for the people of Hughes. I mean look how many people follow him on Facebook. They wouldn’t follow him if they didn’t want to vote for him would they.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to Engadine Maccas. Craig Kelly gave it 5 stars on Facebook so you know it must be good.”

Mark Williamson


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Categories: Politics

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