Rinehart Calls For Less Wine Bars And More Mine Bars

Aspiring comedian and self-confessed Mother of the year Gina Rinehart has called upon Australia to stop building wine bars and start building mine bars.

”The inner city types need to start embracing more mines and less wines,” said Lord Rinehart. ”I worked too damn hard to inherit my Father’s fortune to see it squandered away from 23.9 billion down to 23.8 billion just because a bunch of latte sipping lefties don’t like coal.”

”It makes the blood boil, now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to catch up with my daughters at our favourite venue, the Federal court.”

When reached for comment on Lord Rinehart’s comments, Prime Minister Scotty from marketing said: ”We are blessed in Australia to have such wise and generous citizens like Lord Rinehart.”

”And she is right, less wine more mine….that’s a heck of a slogan we have there, might get the boys in the office to put it on a coffee cup.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and explore an emerging methane deposit located near my electorate at a new mining claim called Engadine Maccas.”

Mark Williamson


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