One of the Nationals go-to muckrakers, Bridget ‘Shooter’ McKenzie has told the PM that if he’s thinking about going net zero then she’ll need a bigger spreadsheet.
”Look Scott – sorry, ScoMo – if you wanna go net zero, then we need to work out how to look after the marginal seats,” said Senator McKenzie. ”I mean, we can’t just cut emissions get rid of coal and leave poor old Gina Rinehart a multi-millionaire, when she’s used to being a billionaire!”
”I mean, sheesh! Where does Scott – sorry, ScoMo – think our election funding comes from?”
When asked why the Nationals commitment to net zero was dependent on slush funds and kickbacks – sorry, “regional grants” – Shooter McKenzie said: ”If Scott, err, ScoMo were here, he’d reject the premise of your question.”
”But, he’s not. so … look, this is how Parliament works – you want something, you give something!”
”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to see the Treasurer to convince him to give my seat more funding. By convince him, I mean I’m going to give him a wedgie.”
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